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Palo Alto High School, Palo Alto, CA
Monday, January 16, 2017

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Liveblog: Oscars Red Carpet

Published February 24, 2013

Editor’s Note: The opinions presented in this article are those of the authors alone and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff of The Paly Voice as a whole. 

Tis the diurnal course for cheesy monologues and disappointed losses. It’s Oscar day. But before the ceremony, the stars must walk along a much more rosy path: the red carpet.

So stay tuned for fashion faux pas and favorites. It will be just like Joan River’s Fashion Police on E! Network, except we’re not 80 and plastic. We’re youthful and fabulous.

We just hope J. Lo isn’t invited this year; we hate when she’s invited.

Update: No wonder Helen Hunt looked … the way she did. She was wearing an H&M dress on the Red Carpet. Come on.

5:23 pm — 

How did Kelly Rowland get this job?

5:22 pm — 

Daniel Day Lewis has good taste — he’s wearing my prom tux.

5:22 pm — 

Kelly Rowland does not look as good as she did at the Grammys.

5:19 pm — 

Jamie Foxx’s daughter looks about 20 times better than he does.
Mr. Foxx, sparkly bow ties are a big NO.

5:18 pm — 

Anne Hathaway is terrible at jokes.

5:18 pm — 

Anne Hathaway’s necklace looks scary in the back.

5:16 pm — 

Kristen Chenoweth has fallen from grace.

5:16 pm — 

Kristen Stewart looks extra white. Sorry, we’re being mean. We didn’t know she was on crutches.

5:16 pm — 

Sandra Bullock looks incredible. Very tasteful; she is stunning.

5:09 pm — 

Stacey Keibler looks nice, but her hair is questionable.

5:09 pm — 

George Clooney needs to cut the beard. This is the Oscars. He looks like a 74-year-old homeless man…with a great body.

5:09 pm — 

Halle Berry looks hot as usual. But Spencer and Callie don’t like her shoulders.

5:08 pm — 

Jennifer Garner’s dress needs more structure in the front. Its not awful, but its not fabulous.

5:08 pm — 

Jennifer Aniston wears the same dress to every event just about.

5:05 pm — 

However the rest of the dress looks flawless. The tiara was unnecessary though.

5:04 pm — 

Salma Hayek looks like she is getting choked by a necklace of bolts.

5:03 pm — 

Sandra Bullock’s hairstyle is her only flaw.

5:02 pm — 

Kristen Stewart is looking “great”- Kate, “no good”-Callie, “like a dog attacked the back of her dress”-Spencer.

4:57 pm — 

Chris Evans is Captain America. #salute

4:57 pm — 

Hugh Jackman looks like the sexiest man alive.

4:54 pm — 

Adele is turning some tables, rumour has it.

4:51 pm — 

Adele makes the “Skyfall.” She’s rolling in the deep sea of best dressed! She definitely set fire to that rain!

Adele, I wish I knew someone like you.

4:47 pm — 

Nicole Kidman looks “kinda sexy” –Kate

4:44 pm — 

ABC’s “Oscars Red Carpet Live” is a disaster; Kristen Chenoweth couldn’t even find her shoe!!!!!!! #trainwreck

4:35 pm — 

Bradley Cooper looks very nice. His vest is perfect; it ties together his classic look.

4:33 pm — 

Jennifer Aniston’s hair is too casual for the Oscars. Her dress goes out too much at the bottom and doesn’t go with her hair, but she looks better than a lot of people have.

4:30 pm — 

Cherlize Théron looks lovely. Dior hit here and missed with Jennifer Lawrence.

4:29 pm — 

10/10 for Naomi Watts.

4:27 pm — 

Jane Fonda can do no right, but we love her. She seems to be borrowing her hairstyle from a man from the 1980s.

4:27 pm — 

Charlize Théron is so beautiful! We love her hair.

4:27 pm — 

Helen Hunt looks tasteful.

4:27 pm — 

Catherine Zeta-Jones’ dress is beautiful. But the bottoms of these dresses are killing us.

4:26 pm — 

Jennifer Hudson looks fabulous as usual. The hair is a little too casual for the Oscars though.

4:25 pm — 

Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s bow tie is also ridiculous.

4:24 pm — 

But we lover her and her awkward smile.

4:24 pm — 


We all gasped when we saw it.

4:24 pm — 

From the bottom of her butt and up, Jennifer Lawrence looks stunning. The bottom is a bit much.

4:23 pm — 

She looks divine. Alexander McQueen is perfect.

4:21 pm — 


4:21 pm — 

Chris Tucker’s bow tie is ridiculous.

4:21 pm — 

We love Jacki Weaver. But we hate her earrings. And the dress is hideous.

But the million worth of diamonds is an ice touch.

4:20 pm — 

Quvenzhané Wallis: Heeeeeeeeeello and thank you!

But just so you know, dog purses are only okay at the Golden Globes.

4:19 pm — 

Daniel Radcliffe is even shorter than Ryan Seacrest. But maybe its just Ryan’s hair.

4:19 pm — 

Kerry Washingston’s dress looks like a prom dress. Not an Oscar dress.

4:19 pm — 

It’s like a much more tasteful version of Bjork’s Oscar dress in 2001.

4:19 pm — 

Who are we kidding, Amy Adams looks beautiful.

4:18 pm — 

From the waist up Amy Adams looks flawless. From the waist down it looks like she took a bunch of geese, put them in a blender and tied them around her waist.

4:18 pm — 

Jessica Chastain looks anything but dark and thirty. And she’s vegan!


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  • Nina Marinkovich

    You guys are significantly improving my Oscar experience! Cheers!