With the May 1 deadline to choose a college fast approaching, schools are clambering for attention from prospective students. Recently, I received a letter from ESPN (Entertainment and Sports Programing Network), or at least I thought it was from ESPN because it had “ESPN” written in big block letters on the envelope and the letter inside was written on ESPN stationary. Alas, it was not from ESPN; it was from a needy college that had contrived for one of its graduates, who works for ESPN, to send out a mass letter telling me and other prospective students what a great future we too can have if if we attend his fine alma mater.

This letter was added to the pile of mail I have received from colleges since the beginning of senior year. I weighed the pile on my bathroom scale and it tipped the scales at 13.5-pounds. Let me say that again: 13.5-pounds of advertisement materials in a torrent of pamphlets, postcards, short books, magazines, letters and even a post card that can fold into paper airplane with the university’s logo on it, falling in a non-stop deluge.

At first I appreciated the attention. It feels good to be wanted, but now I feel stifled. Colleges, please understand that the number of smiling students on postcards is not one of the criteria I will use to evaluate your school. Also, I don’t need incessant mailing to remind me that I applied to your school. By all means, I want you to give me your information, but this can be accomplished without deforesting the entire Amazon rainforest.

Here is an idea of what to mail out next year: Instead of an unending onslaught of paper, boil it down to the relevant information. Send the students who get accepted one nice letter, write it on classy stationary, have a big wig hand-sign it and maybe even close it with wax seal with your insignia. Wax seals are cool. In this letter, tell students the highlights of your school, with a personalized focus on their curricular and extracurricular interests (which you know because they told you in their application) and tell them how they can get in contact with someone at the university if they have any more questions.

Not that this information is not provided by the current advertising material, trust me — it is, please don’t send me any more mail. I am only only proposing a more efficient approach for the future. I hope that maybe, just maybe we can keep next year’s candidates’ piles of accumulated mail below 13.5 pounds.