Dear Daughter,

I know that you have asked me questions about where your ancestors come from so I have decided to write to you. I come from a mixed background; your grandfather was born in Mexico but his mother was half-Mexican and half-Spanish and his father was also half-Mexican and half-Spanish. Your grandmother was born in the US but she was still a mix between Mexican and Spanish. Your great-grandparents on your grandmother’s side were also a mix between Mexican and Spanish. I know that you are navigating this world and sometimes feel alone and like you don’t belong. I hope that this letter will give you some knowledge as to who you are and encouragement to keep going.

When I was a child I was always told that I looked Mexican and that my brothers looked Spanish because they had lighter skin and colored eyes. That bothered me a little but then they would add “your brothers are so handsome and your pretty but why don’t you look like them?” This gave me a feeling that I could not name but would now call inferiority. This is a feeling that you never want to have, my precious daughter, because it will cause you problems that you do not need or want. For example, you will get low self-esteem, depression, and low racial tolerance.

I hope that this story will help you to gain determination. Your grandfather came to this country with nothing only the clothes on his back. He was lucky to enroll in school and get his GED. Later when he enrolled in Central Employment Training he was deported back to Mexico. But, as you know, your grandfather can be stubborn. He was determined to come back to the US and once again crossed the border. This time he was not deported and was able to become an American citizen. He would not have come back and become an American citizen if he did not have a true desire to be here and this would have not been done if he were not determined.

As a child I loved to hear the stories my mother and father would tell me. Your grandmother also had interesting stories to tell. For example, she was the only Mexican in her class and the school as whole only had two Mexicans and one white person. She was a victim of racism she would be called burrito girl because her food from home usually consisted of a burrito. So as you can see you are not the only one being called names. Your grandmother was so hurt and tired of being called burrito girl that she ate her lunch in the girl’s bathroom. When everyone has turned their back on you that is when you are going to need determination and courage to preserver.

I know that it might be hard to believe but I myself have a story to tell you. I went to a school that was primarily white and the Mexicans and the black people were the minorities. This was difficult because in my classes I might be the only Mexican and I would feel a little left out. When we had to work in groups I would have to ask people to let me be in their groups because they would never come to me. Sometimes they would let me join and sometimes I had to keep looking for a group. As time went on I was able to make friends and it was not so hard for me in school. However, when I got to high school, I had to start all over because all my friends went to Gunn and I went to Paly. When school started I was what you would call a loner. As before, I made friends but they were all white. To me, this did not matter, I had not even noticed it but other people from my own race stared to point out that I was only hanging out with white people. Soon after, some people started to call me whitewashed. At first I did not know what they were taking about. Then later I learned that they thought I was trying to act white even though I was Mexican. Even adults have called me whitewashed. You have to let things roll off your back.

Now that you are trying to find who you are it is very important to remember your past. Now it might be true that you did not have to go through all the things that your grandparents and I have had to go through. But you will have to encounter your own racism in this world and you will be prepared because I know who and how you are.

With Love, Your Mother