Stop the public displays of affection. Or, to be more specific, stop making out at school! I am tired of seeing people sticking their tongues in each other’s mouths right in front of me. I feel like approaching the distracted couples, tapping them on the shoulder, and asking, "Don’t you have somewhere to be?" Apparently, they don’t. Couples appear all over campus throughout the day. I can see them before school, after school, between classes, occasionally even during classes, but I don’t want to.

The worst is seeing couples sitting, one on top of the other, and making out. One day, I was happily walking across the quad before seventh period, feeling relaxed, when I saw such a couple. They were curled up on top of each other in the middle of the quad. It just wasn’t cool. I simply had no desire to see that on my way to class.

Couples can show their feelings for each other in a more subtle way, which is fine with me. Handholding is simply cute. Seeing couples, fingers interlaced, conjures images of 50’s era movies, and of the song, "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles, so I give handholding my seal of approval. Hugs are permissible too, except if they are overly feely. Quicker is better, and hands should stay in one place, please. I don’t even have any issues with quick kisses, provided that they are quick.

The display in question is the longer, more passionate kiss. Only the couple can enjoy the PDA, all that witness the kiss are disgusted. Keep it short and sweet. I don’t understand how they can track each other at all hours of the school day and put on a show for everyone.

It’s not as if their displays have any underlying statement. The couples don’t go out and say, "We kiss in hopes of world peace," or, "to end war." The meaning of the demonstration does not go beyond, "I can get some lip," or, "I like her." A kiss could very well be an effective statement, but I do not believe that the couples that I see on campus are making one. Perhaps the couples want to show their peers how bold they are, but after repeatedly seeing this, it no longer shocks me. The making out only grosses people out; others do not want to watch.

Basically, my advice to the couples is to make out as far away from the campus as possible. School is not a choice place to do this anyway, with herds of backpacked students roaming around all the time. It’s also noisy and bright, not exactly the most romantic atmosphere. If that is not enough to deter the couples, the peer response should stop them.

My personal favorite solution to this problem would be public humiliation. People caught in the middle of a public display of affection should be forced to wear a large cone around their necks, similar to the kind that dogs have to wear to keep them from licking their stitches. The cone would both effectively prevent the couples from making out, and embarrass them in front of their peers. People would not want to be caught making out because they would just look dumb with big, white cones around their necks. Determined couples would probably find places out of public view to kiss, and that would be fine. I am not against PDA’s or kissing in general but I simply don’t want to see it on campus.