At approximately 3 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 2, I sat down to watch my very first Super Bowl.
The game actually turned out to be rather exciting, even to someone like myself who knows precisely zip about football, but I was even more interested in the famed Super Bowl ads, which collectively are supposed to reflect the economic, social, and moral temperature of the entire nation.
And while this method of taking America’s pulse was quite a bit more entertaining than, say, watching Obama’s State of the Union address, the portrait it painted was also more alarming. I mean, I knew that most Americans get excited about beer, cars and Doritos, but this must be one of the first times an ad for an online employment agency can elicit the same mouth-watering sensation. And what was with all those ads with people slapping each other?
But regardless, the experience was intriguing. So here are my responses to some of the more notable ads of Super Bowl XLIV.
One of the first ads was for Bud Light, because in times of recession the one thing America needs is more beer. And also auto-tuners so that white people can sound like T-Pain.
Then there was TIM TEBOW’S STUPID PRO-LIFE AD. It was kind of anti-climactic but oddly amusing because Tebow tackled his mother while she was talking. Here’s the gist of it:
Tim Tebow’s Mom: “I love my son. He’s my little boy.”
Audience: Awwww.
[Tim Tebow tackles Tim Tebow’s Mom]
Audience: WTF??
Tim Tebow’s Mom: “Timmy! I’m trying to tell our story!”
Tim Tebow: Oh. Uh. Hahaha.
[Both grin foolishly at camera.]
Audience: …
Hyundai dominated many of the commercial breaks. In addition to sponsoring basically the entire Super Bowl, the Korean car manufacturer proved that it is smarter than Toyota by playing classical music during practically all of its commercials. And naming one of its newest cars