The craze for sandbags is upon us again, and locals recall memories of the 1998 El Nino flood. The easy-access sandbag stations in Palo Alto are considerably down in supplies, forcing Palo Altans to search near and far for the flood assurance of sandbags.
Where torrential rainstorms are nuisances in most cases, and a tragedy in few, they have been morphed by businessmen and women into a ploy for money. Just as once there was a need for a vacuum repair shop where no one had thought of having one before, sandbag stations can make millions from the necessity of others.
Soon a company might create a secret market for luxury sandbags that only the truly fortunate know about. They could sell cashmere sandbags, or even high-tech bags that soak up the water and use it for heating right before your very eyes! Companies might rival for the privilege of using certain colors and contoured shapes just for the specific design of your house.
With the press for flood safety in Palo Alto, one might wonder what the most frantic citizens will do to acquire sandbags of their own. On the extremely popular second-hand site eBay there are already 30 or so individuals selling sandbags. While few of the bags’ designs stray from the usual drab burlap sacks, there are sandbags for sale from a variety of countries. You can even purchase a toy sandbag set, which is what every sandbag collector needs! Need an authentic paintball sandbag hideout? Find it on eBay!
You can even “make $$$ from selling our [The Great American Bag Company’s] unique and second-to-none sandbags!” related one ad on eBay. Perhaps their unique bags will help keep the rain out better than the standard burlap sacks. There is another alternative besides their specialty. You can always try using the same grade sandbags as the army! Surely no water can seep through these sacks regardless of extreme floods.
Aside from the fake, the preposterous and the phony, there are also sandbags available for purchase from countries outside of the U.S., which is definitely reassuring to the desperate Palo Altan. If the United States has a sandbag shortage, just import one!
An anonymous Palo Alto citizen refused to disclose where he had acquired his supply of sandbags. With such a crisis at hand, such an attitude must be understandable. With most of the Palo Alto stations out of bags, one can hardly blame the scrupulous few who have "dug it rich” in sandbags.
“Palo Alto does need sandbags, but I think that sometimes people can go overboard,” said junior Rosie Schairer.
For your own safety, you might want to keep all things sand out of the reach of neighbors or passersby. Your little brother’s sandbox carelessly left in the front yard overnight might suddenly be bereft of its sand by someone at the point of despondency.
Lucky for Californians, the state is happily situated near the beach and thus, sand. If indeed desperate, why not tap this ultimate supply? Just sneak out onto the shore at night and stuff your bags full.
In short, if you hope to stay dry in these winter months, hurry over to the sandbag station and stock up for the rainy season, or you might find yourself turning to these drastic measures to save your house.