Liveblog: Oscars 2014
by Gavin Libbey
Published March 2, 2014
Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not necessarily of the staff of the Paly Voice as a whole.
Welcome back to the Academy Awards! Check back at 5:30 p.m. for live updates about your favorite films and celebrities, along with plenty of tongue-in-cheek commentary.
But actually, I’m done now. Good night!
Also, Bill Murray.
…Also, “Her” still should have won.
And with that, The Academy Awards are finished! Thanks for reading, I hope you had as much fun following as I did writing!
Steve McQueen’s got hops.
Steve McQueen’s family is waaay too far back in the audience.
I see you, Paul Dano. Don’t act like I don’t see you there.
There, give it to Steve McQueen, good.
Okay Brad. Sure. Take the Oscar. Just do that.
Best Picture goes to “12 Years a Slave!”
I’m loving these graphics.
Will Smith don’t even try to act serious. We all know you’re the Fresh Prince deep down in the inside.
Can’t tell if McConaughey calling himself in the future his own hero is humble or cocky. Alright alright alright.
McConaughey prepared for this, he had this in the bag.
Sorry Leo. Best Actor in a Leading Role goes to Matthew McConaughey for his role in “Dallas Buyers Club.”
I’m rooting for you, Leo.
Can he go the distance? Can he go the speed?
Will Leo pull it off?
Jennifer Lawrence on the stage, get ready for a million quotes from her on the internet.
This is a long acceptance speech.
Cate Blanchett with a daring move, thanking Woody Allen.
Best Female in a Leading Role goes to Cate Blanchett for her role in “Blue Jasmine.”
Daniel Day-Lewis drinks my milkshake.
“Wise guys at Warner Brothers.” You tell ’em, Alfonso.
He directed “The Prisoner of Azkaban” so I guess he’s alright.
Best Directing goes to Alfonso Cuarón for “Gravty.” What a surprise.
Wait guys those aren’t actually little statues in the circle walls. We’re gonna be okay.
Now Bill Murray has to win something, then I’ll be happy.
JGL is totally into “Her” winning. Good on ya, Joseph.
Spike Jonze is my spirit animal.
Can’t stop the hype train.
Best Original Screenplay goes to “Her!” I’m so happy guys. I’m filled with emotions.
Come on “Her” hype train, choo choo! Win that Original Screenplay! I believe in you!
Best Adapted Screenplay goes to “12 Years a Slave.”
Look at all those typewriters. Go, typewriters! Fight the creepy statue menace!
Pharrell has a massive hat.
The “Let It Go” writers are amping me up with their happiness.
Best Original Song goes to “Gravity.” Just kidding, it went to “Let It Go” from “Frozen.”
This Live Blog is quickly becoming a Bill Murray/”Her” hype blog.
We’re talking about Bill Murray again.
Stop it “Gravity.” Stop winning everything.
Wow, there haven’t been many awards in a while. Best Original Score goes to not “Her.”
Wooo Jaime Foxx made a Bill Murray shoutout.
What, is “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” not good enough?
Oh no, the walls of circles have tiny creepy statues in them. They’re everywhere. Help.
Aw yeah, “Pulp Fiction” intro song.
I like the way they showed the Best Picture nominees last year better, bunching three of them together at a time is lame.
Oh gosh Ellen changed her clothes again and crashed Twitter. Never change, Ellen. Except for your clothes again, maybe.
That was a nice In Memorium segment. Rest in piece.
Okay, apparently I can’t type “Two hundred fifty dollars.” Never mind.
I just noticed I said “Dallas Buyers Club” had a makeup budget of $CONTENT. I meant 0. Still impressive.
Wait, the microphone like elevates up for each speaker. We’re truly living in the future.
Now I’m expecting Scarlett Johansson… But only her voice.
We’ve had like two of the Avengers as announcers.
Hans Zimmer makes everything dramatic.
I’m digging this hero montage.
For the record, Benedict Cumberbatch is a cool parrot.
Best Production Design goes to “The Great Gatsby.” It’s putting on the Ritz. I looked up that 20s lingo term.
Benedict Cumberbatch looks a little like a parrot.
Everyone, don’t worry. The scary statue army is go- Oh my gosh what is Ellen wearing?
Nothing says intense, gritty Godzilla reboot like a Snickers commercial.
That was a nice tribute to Judy Garland.
P!nk has a ruby dress, is that more magical than the slippers? Is that cheating?
Whoopie Goldberg has the most pearls of all time.
So… How about that Bill Murray?
Best Film Editing goes to “Gravity.”
Bill Murray is pretty cool.
Bill Murray is so suave. Best Cinematography goes to “Gravity.” Can we just keep talking about Bill Murray? I’m getting tired of “Gravity” winning.
Nobody will ever believe Amy Adams when she tells people she announced stuff with Bill Murray.
Those guests in the middle-center seats have it made.
Oh wow they actually got pizza.
Am I allowed to live blog the commercials? Because I’m getting really tired of the “Resurrection” ads.
She has a pretty cool hairdo.
Best Supporting Actress goes to Lupita Nyong’o for “12 Years a Slave.”
Christoph Waltz, thats a bingo.
Oh no the creepy statues are back.
Best Sound Editing goes to “Gravity” as well. For the record, Mixing and Editing are different things.
Best Sound Mixing goes to “Gravity.” I’m going to refrain from another heavy breathing joke.
Chris Hemsworth looks strange with short hair.
And the selfies keep coming.
It’s the hyper selfie. Oh gosh.
Standing ovation for U2.
Brad Pitt and Bono. Okay.
Ellen with the game-changer, wearing a white suit now.
“Her” hype train still chugging along.
Tyler Perry presenting the best picture nominee, “Madea’s Oscar Nomination.”
Best Foreign Language Film goes to “The Great Beauty.” It’s kind of weird how they treat foreign film awards like Olympic medals, the country wins, not the actual people.
I have to say, I disagree with last year’s Oscar Live Blog. I love the beards.
When the Oscars need a song to play before commercials do they just play random John Williams score?
This a great acceptance speech.
Best Documentary Feature goes to “20 Feet from Stardom.” Sorry “The Act of Killing,” maybe you were just too incredible to win.
I’ll eat pizza, Ellen.
Loved Marty’s head shake right there.
The subject of the film that just won died only a week ago at age 110. Wow.
Best Documentary Short Subject goes to “The Lady in Number 6.”
Best Live Action Short Film goes to “Helium.”
Jason Sudeikis has a beard?
They got rid of the army of creepy life-size Oscar statues.
This song is beautiful. Can’t stop the “Her” hype train.
Best Visual Effects goes to Gravity. This calls for heavy breathing.
Emma Watson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Can they please be a thing?
Is it ironic to feature Mel Gibson in a bit about social justice and liberty and freedom and not-racism?
Sally Field looks amazing for being nearly 70.
Ellen is off camera. Oh wait it was a joke.
Best Animated Feature Film goes to… “Frozen.” Yep. Didn’t see that coming.
Best Animated Short Film goes to “Mr Hublot” after an incredibly uncomfortable round of presenter banter.
I miss Bradley Cooper’s perm.
Thanks for that Channing, whatever that was.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Harrison Ford might have actually sounded interested in this.
Han shot first.
Makeup and Hairstyling goes to Dallas Buyers Club. Their budget for makeup only cost 0 dollars, they deserve the Oscar.
Costume Design goes to Great Gatsby. Swanky. That’s a 1920’s word, right?
Lets see if Samuel L Jackson can go a minute without dropping the f-bomb.
I would be happy with Pharrell Williams, but those huge Oscar Statues are horrifying me.
Ellen is liveblogging her own show.
Jim Carrey was in “Citizen Kane?”
Actor in a Supporting Role goes to Jared Leto. I kind of liked him better with the dress and wig.
Zingers, humble-brags, shout-outs, and making fun of Meryl Streep. Ellen nailed the opening speech. Now here’s Anne Hathaway, still with the “Les Mis” hairdo.
And it’s starting, Ellen has taken the stage.
Oscar coverage will kick off at 5:30 p.m.