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Liveblog: Oscars 2014

Published March 2, 2014

Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not necessarily of the staff of the Paly Voice as a whole.

Welcome back to the Academy Awards! Check back at 5:30 p.m. for live updates about your favorite films and celebrities, along with plenty of tongue-in-cheek commentary.

9:03 pm — 

But actually, I’m done now. Good night!

9:02 pm — 

Also, Bill Murray.

9:02 pm — 

…Also, “Her” still should have won.

9:01 pm — 

And with that, The Academy Awards are finished! Thanks for reading, I hope you had as much fun following as I did writing!

9:00 pm — 

Steve McQueen’s got hops.

9:00 pm — 

Steve McQueen’s family is waaay too far back in the audience.

8:59 pm — 

I see you, Paul Dano. Don’t act like I don’t see you there.

8:59 pm — 

There, give it to Steve McQueen, good.

8:58 pm — 

Okay Brad. Sure. Take the Oscar. Just do that.

8:57 pm — 

Best Picture goes to “12 Years a Slave!”

8:57 pm — 

Drum roll

8:57 pm — 

I’m loving these graphics.

8:56 pm — 

Will Smith don’t even try to act serious. We all know you’re the Fresh Prince deep down in the inside.

8:55 pm — 

Can’t tell if McConaughey calling himself in the future his own hero is humble or cocky. Alright alright alright.

8:53 pm — 

McConaughey prepared for this, he had this in the bag.

8:51 pm — 

Sorry Leo. Best Actor in a Leading Role goes to Matthew McConaughey for his role in “Dallas Buyers Club.”

8:50 pm — 

I’m rooting for you, Leo.

8:50 pm — 

Can he go the distance? Can he go the speed?

8:50 pm — 

Will Leo pull it off?

8:49 pm — 

Jennifer Lawrence on the stage, get ready for a million quotes from her on the internet.

8:47 pm — 

This is a long acceptance speech.

8:46 pm — 

Cate Blanchett with a daring move, thanking Woody Allen.

8:45 pm — 

Best Female in a Leading Role goes to Cate Blanchett for her role in “Blue Jasmine.”

8:42 pm — 

Daniel Day-Lewis drinks my milkshake.

8:37 pm — 

“Wise guys at Warner Brothers.” You tell ‘em, Alfonso.

8:36 pm — 

*”Gravity”

He directed “The Prisoner of Azkaban” so I guess he’s alright.

8:36 pm — 

Best Directing goes to Alfonso Cuarón for “Gravty.” What a surprise.

8:32 pm — 

Wait guys those aren’t actually little statues in the circle walls. We’re gonna be okay.

8:30 pm — 

Now Bill Murray has to win something, then I’ll be happy.

8:29 pm — 

JGL is totally into “Her” winning. Good on ya, Joseph.

8:28 pm — 

Spike Jonze is my spirit animal.

8:28 pm — 

Can’t stop the hype train.

8:28 pm — 

Best Original Screenplay goes to “Her!” I’m so happy guys. I’m filled with emotions.

8:27 pm — 

Come on “Her” hype train, choo choo! Win that Original Screenplay! I believe in you!

8:26 pm — 

Best Adapted Screenplay goes to “12 Years a Slave.”

8:24 pm — 

Look at all those typewriters. Go, typewriters! Fight the creepy statue menace!

8:23 pm — 

Pharrell has a massive hat.

8:18 pm — 

The “Let It Go” writers are amping me up with their happiness.

8:17 pm — 

Best Original Song goes to “Gravity.” Just kidding, it went to “Let It Go” from “Frozen.”

8:16 pm — 

This Live Blog is quickly becoming a Bill Murray/”Her” hype blog.

8:15 pm — 

We’re talking about Bill Murray again.

8:15 pm — 

Stop it “Gravity.” Stop winning everything.

8:15 pm — 

Wow, there haven’t been many awards in a while. Best Original Score goes to not “Her.”

8:13 pm — 

Wooo Jaime Foxx made a Bill Murray shoutout.

8:11 pm — 

What, is “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” not good enough?

8:09 pm — 

Oh no, the walls of circles have tiny creepy statues in them. They’re everywhere. Help.

8:08 pm — 

Aw yeah, “Pulp Fiction” intro song.

8:07 pm — 

I like the way they showed the Best Picture nominees last year better, bunching three of them together at a time is lame.

8:05 pm — 

Oh gosh Ellen changed her clothes again and crashed Twitter. Never change, Ellen. Except for your clothes again, maybe.

8:02 pm — 

That was a nice In Memorium segment. Rest in piece.

8:01 pm — 

Okay, apparently I can’t type “Two hundred fifty dollars.” Never mind.

8:00 pm — 

I just noticed I said “Dallas Buyers Club” had a makeup budget of $CONTENT. I meant 0. Still impressive.

7:54 pm — 

Wait, the microphone like elevates up for each speaker. We’re truly living in the future.

7:53 pm — 

Now I’m expecting Scarlett Johansson… But only her voice.

7:51 pm — 

We’ve had like two of the Avengers as announcers.

7:48 pm — 

Hans Zimmer makes everything dramatic.

7:47 pm — 

I’m digging this hero montage.

7:47 pm — 

For the record, Benedict Cumberbatch is a cool parrot.

7:46 pm — 

Best Production Design goes to “The Great Gatsby.” It’s putting on the Ritz. I looked up that 20s lingo term.

7:44 pm — 

Benedict Cumberbatch looks a little like a parrot.

7:43 pm — 

Everyone, don’t worry. The scary statue army is go- Oh my gosh what is Ellen wearing?

7:41 pm — 

Nothing says intense, gritty Godzilla reboot like a Snickers commercial.

7:39 pm — 

That was a nice tribute to Judy Garland.

7:37 pm — 

P!nk has a ruby dress, is that more magical than the slippers? Is that cheating?

7:33 pm — 

Whoopie Goldberg has the most pearls of all time.

7:31 pm — 

So… How about that Bill Murray?

7:31 pm — 

Best Film Editing goes to “Gravity.”

7:29 pm — 

Bill

7:29 pm — 

Murray

7:29 pm — 

Bill Murray is pretty cool.

7:28 pm — 

Bill Murray is so suave. Best Cinematography goes to “Gravity.” Can we just keep talking about Bill Murray? I’m getting tired of “Gravity” winning.

7:26 pm — 

Nobody will ever believe Amy Adams when she tells people she announced stuff with Bill Murray.

7:22 pm — 

Those guests in the middle-center seats have it made.

7:22 pm — 

Oh wow they actually got pizza.

7:20 pm — 

Am I allowed to live blog the commercials? Because I’m getting really tired of the “Resurrection” ads.

7:16 pm — 

She has a pretty cool hairdo.

7:16 pm — 

Best Supporting Actress goes to Lupita Nyong’o for “12 Years a Slave.”

7:12 pm — 

Christoph Waltz, thats a bingo.

7:11 pm — 

Oh no the creepy statues are back.

7:10 pm — 

Best Sound Editing goes to “Gravity” as well. For the record, Mixing and Editing are different things.

7:08 pm — 

Best Sound Mixing goes to “Gravity.” I’m going to refrain from another heavy breathing joke.

7:06 pm — 

Chris Hemsworth looks strange with short hair.

7:04 pm — 

And the selfies keep coming.

7:04 pm — 

It’s the hyper selfie. Oh gosh.

6:59 pm — 

Standing ovation for U2.

6:55 pm — 

Brad Pitt and Bono. Okay.

6:54 pm — 

Ellen with the game-changer, wearing a white suit now.

6:54 pm — 

“Her” hype train still chugging along.

6:52 pm — 

Tyler Perry presenting the best picture nominee, “Madea’s Oscar Nomination.”

6:51 pm — 

Best Foreign Language Film goes to “The Great Beauty.” It’s kind of weird how they treat foreign film awards like Olympic medals, the country wins, not the actual people.

6:49 pm — 

I have to say, I disagree with last year’s Oscar Live Blog. I love the beards.

6:45 pm — 

When the Oscars need a song to play before commercials do they just play random John Williams score?

6:40 pm — 

This a great acceptance speech.

6:39 pm — 

Best Documentary Feature goes to “20 Feet from Stardom.” Sorry “The Act of Killing,” maybe you were just too incredible to win.

6:36 pm — 

I’ll eat pizza, Ellen.

6:36 pm — 

Loved Marty’s head shake right there.

6:35 pm — 

The subject of the film that just won died only a week ago at age 110. Wow.

6:34 pm — 

Best Documentary Short Subject goes to “The Lady in Number 6.”

6:32 pm — 

Best Live Action Short Film goes to “Helium.”

6:31 pm — 

Jason Sudeikis has a beard?

6:27 pm — 

They got rid of the army of creepy life-size Oscar statues.

6:25 pm — 

This song is beautiful. Can’t stop the “Her” hype train.

6:22 pm — 

Best Visual Effects goes to Gravity. This calls for heavy breathing.

6:21 pm — 

Emma Watson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Can they please be a thing?

6:20 pm — 

Is it ironic to feature Mel Gibson in a bit about social justice and liberty and freedom and not-racism?

6:18 pm — 

Sally Field looks amazing for being nearly 70.

6:17 pm — 

Ellen is off camera. Oh wait it was a joke.

6:16 pm — 

Best Animated Feature Film goes to… “Frozen.” Yep. Didn’t see that coming.

6:13 pm — 

Best Animated Short Film goes to “Mr Hublot” after an incredibly uncomfortable round of presenter banter.

6:11 pm — 

I miss Bradley Cooper’s perm.

6:07 pm — 

Thanks for that Channing, whatever that was.

6:04 pm — 

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Harrison Ford might have actually sounded interested in this.

6:03 pm — 

Han shot first.

6:01 pm — 

Makeup and Hairstyling goes to Dallas Buyers Club. Their budget for makeup only cost 0 dollars, they deserve the Oscar.

5:59 pm — 

Costume Design goes to Great Gatsby. Swanky. That’s a 1920′s word, right?

5:57 pm — 

Lets see if Samuel L Jackson can go a minute without dropping the f-bomb.

5:52 pm — 

I would be happy with Pharrell Williams, but those huge Oscar Statues are horrifying me.

5:49 pm — 

Ellen is liveblogging her own show.

5:47 pm — 

Jim Carrey was in “Citizen Kane?”

5:43 pm — 

Actor in a Supporting Role goes to Jared Leto. I kind of liked him better with the dress and wig.

5:40 pm — 

Zingers, humble-brags, shout-outs, and making fun of Meryl Streep. Ellen nailed the opening speech. Now here’s Anne Hathaway, still with the “Les Mis” hairdo.

5:32 pm — 

And it’s starting, Ellen has taken the stage.

5:11 pm — 

Oscar coverage will kick off at 5:30 p.m.


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