J: So, how’s freshman year treating you?

R: It’s good, it’s good. I like the trust there is.

J: The trust?

R: Between the teachers.

J: Between the teachers and the students?

R: Yes

J: So you think your teachers trust you more this year than they have in past?

R: Not me. Not me. Students.

J: Students in general. Why don’t they trust you?

R: Well, I’m just a mischievous kid.

J: Oh really?

R: Oh yeah.

J: Can you give me an example of this mischievousness?

R: Let’s just say, (pause) I can’t say.

J: Oh man.

R: Hey, hey. I got something here.

R: I’m from the west side, what?

J: What!?

R: I’m the from the east side, no. I’m from the south side, ok ok. I’m from the north side, it doesn’t exist! (Whispered) Pretty cool, huh?

J: Ok.

R: Wrote that myself.

J: Really.

R: Really.

J: When did you write that?
R: I wrote that this weekend I believe.

J: Wow. So are you an aspiring rap artist?

R: I am an artist in more ways than two.

J: More ways than two? Would you say there’s a number that you are an artist in less ways than? [Editor’s note: great English right there, don’t you think?]

R: I’m an artist in less ways than 37.

J: Ok. That could be a lot of different kinds of artists.

R: Yes. It could be.

J: So, tell me something interesting.

R: Sure. I’ll give you a hilarious anecdote.

J: Oh really? Alright.

R: So one time, I’m walking down the street. Can… can I swear?

J: Sure, I’ll probably have to bleep it out, but you know, whatever.

R: Sure, sure.

J: Do the little star thing.

R: Oh yeah, so I get to say (BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEP)?
J: Yeah. Yeah I guess.

R: So I’m walking down the street one day, eating a hotdog, right?

J: A hotdog, ok.

R: And this homeless guy comes up to me. And I love the homeless, they’re not bad people, they’re good people, but, this guy comes up to me for no reason, and starts bothering me. He goes, "Oh, it’s nice to see some Puerto Rican people out here." And I, I’m not Puerto Rican, I don’t know why he thought I was Puerto Rican. And he goes, "Hey, you’re Puerto Rican, I’m Puerto Rican, my wife’s Puerto Rican, my whole family’s Puerto Rican." You know, it’s kinda sad, he thought I was Puerto Rican and I’m not. But, anyway, I tried to get away from him, and then later, he comes up to me, and goes up to my friend and goes, "Hey buddy, (pause) you know who you remind me of? My son. He’s Polish." And I just didn’t understand, because if someone was Polish, then how could they… also be… the other thing that I said, I don’t…

J: Puerto Rican?

R: Puerto Rican! That’s right.

J: Ok.

R: Puerto Rican, I want to say Portuguese, but that’s wrong. Racist.

J: Yeah, no Portuguese around here

R: No Portuguese, except for that guy that I’m pointing to right now.

J: I think that’s a girl.

R: Ok, but she’s hideous. Now, uh…

J: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..

R: Now, the point of this whole speech is that, no matter where you go, you’re always going to be yelled at, if you’re polish, Portuguese, if you’re Chinese, if you’re… I’m 50% Lebanese, I bet you didn’t know that, did you know that?

J: No, I didn’t know that.

R: 50% percent Lebanese, I’m not kidding. Uh, so I’m eating the hot dog, right? And I trip and fall, and the hot dog falls on the ground.

J: Ok.

R: And, you know the ten second rule, right? You pick it up, you know?

J: Yeah.

R: But, a hot dog’s kind of a messy thing, so it’s got all this dirt in it. So I wonder, should I eat it, should I not eat it, what should I do? I asked my friend, "Should I eat this hot dog?" And he goes, "I dunno man." So we sat there on his couch and we thought and we thought and we thought. And by the time we figured out that we could just wipe off all the bad stuff on it, it had turned bad, cause it had been three weeks. Now, I’m a simple man, alright? All I need is a hotdog and a good walk, alright? But no, I can’t get that. I’ll tell you what. If you gimme a hot dog, a place to walk, and no one bothering me, then I will not turn out to be a psycho, but unfortunately, in this world we live in, there are people all over the place that are bothering and bothering, and they’ll turn you into a psycho.

J: So you’re going to be a psycho?

R: No! No, not me.

J: Not you.

R: I’m a cool guy.

J: Yeah, you certainly seem to be.

R: Wanna see my impression of the Fonz?

J: The fauns?

R: The Fonz of Happy Days? Fonzerrelli?

J: Oh, ok. I was thinking of like, fauns as in little Greek, goat people. Haha. I’m sorry. I was just reading the other day and… well, please, give me your impression.

R: Ok, ok, so alright, pretend you’re interviewing the Fonz, alright?

J: So, Fonz, what up?

R: Yooooo. How you doing, Amundo?

J: I’m doing alright.

R: (whispers) Now offend me, call me stupid.

J: You’re stupid.

R: Sit on it! Thank you.

J: Ok.

R: Yeah, that was my impression of Fonz.

J: So, wow. I’ve got one last question actually.

R: What’s that?

J: What do you think I should call this new publication, this new section, this interviewing thing?

R: Oh. Call it… (long pause).

J: He’s coming up with it.

R: Call it, explosions and hobos.

J: Explosions and hobos.

R: An interview with Robert Nasr.

J: An interview with Robert Nasr.

R: Or, Robert Nasr III.

J: Robert Nasr III. Note to self, Robert Nasr III.

R: Alright, thank you.

J: Robert, thank you very much. I hope that the rest of this year goes very well for you.

R: Oh, thank you, I’m sure it will.

J: And I hope a lot of people read this.

R: I hope so to.

J: Have a nice day.

R: You too.